Find similar stories in Humor

How can you tell a redneck Church?

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch ‘em.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… when the pastor says,
“I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” five guys and two women stand up.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… opening day of deer
season is recognized as an official church holiday.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… a member of the
church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.” (Love it!)

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… the choir is known as
the “OK Chorale”.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… in a congregation of
500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… Baptism is referred
to as “branding”.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… high notes on the
organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… people think
“rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… the baptismal pool is
a #2 galvanized washtub.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… the choir robes were
donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s Barbecue.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… the collection plates
are really hub caps from a ’56 Chevy.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… instead of a bell,
you are called to service by a duck call..

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… the minister and his
wife drive matching pickup trucks.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… the communion wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink”.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… “Thou shalt not
covet” applies to hunting dogs, too.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if… the final words of
the benediction are, “Y’all come back now!! Ya Hear”

That’s OK. God loves rednecks too!!

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
How can you tell a redneck Church?, 100% based on 2 ratings

2 comments to How can you tell a redneck Church?

  • daniel

    You guys have all this godly sayings and things yet you can make jokes about I’m sorry buts wrong and rather offending

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Grace

      haha I loved the one with the 500 members , but only seven last names in the directory. funny and clean!! I have to memorize some and tell them to my pastor 🙂

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>