Enabling/Rescuing/Caretaking
Enabling: a destructive form of helping
We rescue anytime we take responsibility for another person's thoughs, feelings,
decisions, behaviors, growth, well-being, problems, or destiny. The following constitute a
rescuing or caretaking move:
-Doing something we really don't want to do.
-Saying yes when we mean no.
-Doing something for someone although that person is capable of and should be doing it for
him or herself.
-Meeting people's needs without being asked and before we've agreed to do so.
-Doing more than a fair share of work after our help is requested.
-Consistently giving more than we receive in a particular situation.
-Fixing people's feelings.
-Doing people's thinking for them.
-Speaking for another person.
-Suffering people's consequences for them.
-Solving people's problems for them.
-Putting more interest and activity into a joint effort than the other person does.
-Not asking for what we want, need, and desire.
Melody Beattie
Codependent NO MORE
